Recently I had an opportunity to serve someone that has given a lot to me. This person made themselves available for the Lord, for me, many times and I prayed that God would use any of the abilities, skills, or gifts that I possess to serve them in return. He gave me the job quickly and it came through a little side business I have. I was so thankful for the gift! When asked how much I charge, I replied that there would be no charge. For a week, I served my friend "humbly in love". (Gal 5:13) I got up early everyday and went about my work smiling. I took great care in all that I did and looked for ways to go the "extra mile". I experienced genuine, selfless giving in a way I never had before. And that my Father had answered a prayer and given me this job was icing on the cake! I was soaking up the joy of sacrificial giving. Then, as the work came to an end, something happened that I wasn't expecting. My friend paid me anyway and I didn't know they had in time to say or do anything. At first, I laughed. But by the next day, the lies of the enemy started to creep in.
I have to give the benefit of the doubt--my friend has a very kind heart and I do not think the purpose was to rob me of my blessing. But I started to feel the pain of my gift being rejected. Was there a reason? Did they not trust me to be unconditional with "no strings attached"? The enemy threw lie after lie at me. Finally, my comforter, my helper, and teacher, broke through the obsession and the Holy Spirit caused me to think about a couple of things.
First, I had lived out Colossians 3:23 better than I ever had before. I had worked at it with all my heart, as working for the Lord. But to be honest, I do have a tendency to elevate people and He encouraged me to consider my old ways of thinking and operating. Was I trying to please human masters? So the money and consequent reflection and teaching from the Holy Spirit led me to see and understand that I was given the gift of this job BY the Lord and was working FOR the Lord and therefore I should not be feeling hurt because a PERSON paid me and didn't accept the work as a gift. In my new understanding, I gave 100% of the money back to the Lord and my motivations stayed true and everything was right.
Secondly, it occurred to me that if I felt the pain of rejection, how much more might the Lord feel the same way? James tells us that every good thing comes from Him, but how many times do the Lord's gifts go unnoticed? Or how often are His gifts of salvation, forgiveness, or love rejected or not believed? I am guilty of all of these things from time to time and so I have a new commitment to stay conscious and grateful, always acknowledging Him. I would also like to add that as Christians we are to serve ONE ANOTHER. Sometimes it is important to accept a gift that comes from the true and kind motivations of another's heart.
As Christians, our love and service to each other is how the world knows us. Sure, it's a heck of a lot easier to love and serve those that we already love, but I've found that in doing that, and doing it well, it strengthens me for the more difficult tasks God calls me to do. I want all of my acts of love and service to point back to Jesus, and I've learned that it isn't always going to happen exactly the way I desire. But I do desire to offer all of my words and actions as Gifts for Him!
Laura